The royal throne room... a fortress of solitude, finer than any i any kingdom through out the earth. I the king, able to let my guard down, sit pondering life's most difficult quandaries; the meaning of life , or my purpose on this earth, and I, a mere mortal man, have uncovered the answers to these and many other dilemmas. The answers are completely logical and intelligent! I have solved truths that have left even history's greatest minds in a dumbfounded stooper. The vast amount of knowledge and the cornucopia of wisdom bestowed upon me is inexplicable... The entire world is placed in perspective as I am perched upon my porcelain gilded throne amidst the fine tile work, my fountains, and beautifully woven tapestry.
At least twice a day I enter this room in search of solace and peace, desperate for relief from the pressures of ruling over my kingdom. If only I could remember even a fragment of the wisdom I discover within the confines of these four walls....Unfortunately like leaves in the wind my thoughts are snatched from me as I cross into the outside world... In an attempt to preserve and share with the world even a tidbit of the truths I discover, I scrawl this meager manifesto......
Welcome to "Potty Talk." Whether dropping the kids off at the pool; placing a bet on the Browns in the Super Bowl, dumping a load, pinching a loaf, or dropping deuce; there is no doubt something profound that happens to a man while he sits on the pot in the privacy of his own bathroom, a secluded home for peace and relief within the kingdom that is his life.
While to most I am sure the very notion of what I am proposing is absurd and down right juvenile. Think about it though. What is the very nature of the business you conduct in your restroom? You are evacuating you body's waste, is it not conceivable that whilst in the process one may go through a mental bowel movement if you will? An evacuation of all the nonstop nonsense and constant B.S. we are berated with. I am not sure of the exact purpose of this blog yet. I unfortunately am suffering from, dare I say it "mental constipation." However, as inspiration (the mental stool softner) sets my mind free I will post a follow up.